random thoughts from a wedding

I heard this advice today: "People give advice to married couples: 'Don't go to bed angry'...but I think that's crap. Are you kidding me? Go to bed angry! It'll look better in the morning. You'll have a better perspective."

I had a great time tonight. There was great company there -- funny and friendly and intelligent and interesting...and this family (the Grooms family was huge!) they really loved each other, you could tell, and I saw a couple of good friends from Logan I hadn't seen in a while, and both families were so nice to me / complimented me a lot / sent me home with some great food and a gorgeous flower centerpiece, and I even danced for a bit. But I feel sad anyway. All day I had to try and explain to people why I was single, and tell them about my life, and it was nice because what they were saying was, "I think you're nice and smart and pretty and I can't understand why you're not married, so let's get you married, etc, etc" but it was also painful, too.

I played games with a little girl. She was a sweetie: she followed me to the elevators...giving me all her special powers along the way. I almost started crying. It's so lame, but the friendship of a 6 year old was affecting me pretty hard(a special needs 6 year old) -- I guess I just feel so incredibly alone - and she didn't need anything from me except my love and attention, and I didn't have to be careful about anything, or hold back anything -- I could just be her friend, and it was so nice.

And she's saying as she follows me out: "I'll give you all my powers...because I want you to have all the special powers...I give you everything you need...you have the diamond powers and the water powers and the fire powers and the straw powers...everything!" They aren't even real, these powers...but I felt so grateful anyway. She was giving me everything she had to give. I barely made it to the elevator: I felt like a jerk for leaving her standing in the hall calling after me.

Why am I crying? Everything, though...it's all too much. Maybe I'm just tired.